Mumbai: As soon as the first semester results were declared by Mumbai University last week, a wave of mixed emotions gripped the engineering students. With the overall passing percentage as pathetic as 36%,its reported that more than 18000 students flunked in this exam. Which according to Mumbai University is 'normal'.
A lot of students who failed in their exams have gone into depreession. Sightings of packets of 'goldflake' along with bottles of 'Imperial Blue' & 'Old Monk, on college terraces were reported by our correspondents.
Most of the students claim this result to be an 'akhand chutiyapa' of MU and are applying for revaluation, while most of them have gathered outside AAP. Meanwhile, the offices of AAP have started to flood with thousands of 'registration' forms everyday. To tackle this problem AAP has decided to issue an guideline/criterion brochure, to assure the right students get to be a part of the AAP.
Our sources have managed to bring before you the rough draft of the guidelines of this brochure, which are as follows.
1. Must wear a 'muffler', a sweater and an 'Main Hoon Aam Aadmi' cap for the PI and GD rounds.
2. Must cough atleast 5-6 times while speaking.
3. Facial expressions should potray a 'bechara' & 'lachaar' type of personality and candidate should look anorexic.
4. Must know how to hold a 'broom'.
5. Must be honest till death.
(eg. Suppose, if a 7 yr old kid asks where do babies come from, you should be prepared to show him porn and describe the reproduction process.)
6. Must potray a corruption free image as the DP on their 'resume'.
(Photoshopped DP's will also be accepted)
7. Last but not the least. Must be always ready for a 'Dharna' or 'Anshan' andolan.
(Don't worry, you'll be supplied food in washrooms secretely during such andolans.)
Students have already started applying for this 'recruitment' drive of AAP as they've lost their faith in MU.
"Ye revaluation and KT form in university walon ke paise kamaane ka business ban chuka hai. Waise bhi engineering karke job ki gurantee rahi nahi. And bachpan se hi dekhtey aaya hu ki India mein politician jitna kamata hain, utna toh ek engineer MBA karne ke baad bhi nhi kama pata.Results aane key baad main toh puri tarah udaas ho gaya tha, but fir maine socha 'hatao yaar ye engineering', Main bhi ab politics mein ghusunga aur jam ke paise khaaungaa!!" said excited Rohan, who's got 5KTS in his first semester.
Our correspondent tried to contact the head of Mumbai University on this issue, but all our efforts sucked donkey balls. Whenever we called their office contact number, the voice on the other end said "Call Held In Reserve" and disconnected. We also tried sontacting them via email, but it displayed "Email Sending FAILED."
Meanwhile AAP director Mr. Arvind Kejrwal contacted our office and has shown appreciation in this matter and is expecting more and more recruitments in near future!
(Above article is just a piece of satire and does not bear any resemblance with reality. Constructive criticisms and your comments will be warmly appreciated. Please recommend this blog to your friends if you like it (sorry for this promotional crap :p). Kudos, until next time buddies!!Thank You ...( watch out, you might be exposed by AAP for reading this article )